This space is dying once again. I've been updating more often at tangerinez.tumblr.com
But i kinda miss this place somehow
Nothing much going on in my life now
Civ pro test coming up next thursday.
Must chiong! Cus i happily failed the previous test. =/

I haven't met bf for this whole week!
Only gonna meet this coming Monday
On the day of my civ test pro he's off to some advanced shooting course
Will be away on 3 different days
Heard live rounds are used, worried me! :(
But i think it's kinda cool, if only girls can go shoot too! 
I mean we are perfectly able to protect ourselves too wad! Doesn't mean girls are less physically capable!
Mathavan recounted some case where the grenade went off in the officer's hand cus the recruit didnt throw it out after he pulled the pin
Omg wad if some goondu throw a grenade at my bf?
Or what if someone accidentally shoot him?!
Touch wood! :( :( :(

If you'd rather look through pictures, videos, music
Go to my tumblr blog!
And please click 'follow'!
once again,

tangerinez.tumblr.com




 

I am utterly spoiled by sweetie
Met him on Tues and he gave me a surprise! 
He got me 2 boxes of chocolates from Chocolate Research Facility at Wheelock Place!
I was really surprised cus i didn't expect him to go back there and buy for me!
Well we passed by that lovely shop last week before we went for high tea at Royal Plaza on the Scotts
More about the high tea later
But let's get back to the chocolates!

The shop looked so kewl that we just had to go in
The chocs aren't packaged in the usual variety of boxes that you see
Instead they come in lovely little rectangular boxes that has animal prints on it! 
You can check out their designs at www.chocolateresearchfacility.com

They come in like 100 different flavours and it's all so wacky!
I saw one that has black sesame paste? =O 
On a flipside, a really small box is already 10 bucks
After we left, sweetie asked me not very discreetly which are my favourite flavours
So i said peanut butter and cinnamon!
I didn't think he'd be serious about buying them for me

And the rest is history and digesting in my tummy :>
Thank you for the treat!

My verdict: The chocolate has a really silky texture that starts to melt immediately in your hand. No matter how long you freeze them, they never seem to harden. The amount of fillings inside is really generous, but that means you get less chocolate as well. It is sweet, creamy and luxurious. A  must try for every avid chocolate fan! The peanut butter flavour is not that unique, for a really special twist get the cinnamon one! Next up, Chai tea flavour? mmmm...
 

I was scrolling down my fb home page when a racy photo caught my eye
The girl was sprawled in a race girl pose, on top of a car she didnt own
I clicked on the picture, already half knowing how the rest of the pictures will turn out

Girl poses with various liquer bottles, check
Girl with a group of ah bengs drinking, check
Girl in slitty eyed attempt at sexiness look, check
Mando pop club, check
Getai looking singers, check
Baby at home, and she's just my baby sister ruse, check

Well i'm not saying her lifestyle is deplorable
I mean if you wana make your life an alcohol induced, sex driven train wreck then that's none of my business
If you like to strut around looking like a ktv hostess in the back alleys where vermins roam, then good for you! Nothing beats the feeling of being in your own element doesn't it!

It's just that isn't it amazing how life takes you along?
Like a giant wave it swallows you, sucking you in with its powerful force
It churns you and slams you around
And it spits you out on a washed out beach, sputtering and cursing,
But relieved that life has not fled you just yet.

I need to see pictures like that to jolt me into motivation once a while,
Or everytime i feel my interest waning.
It's a good reminder to myself of my own spectacular fall from grace
No, there will be no bums in this family. Not now, not ever

There was this elitist who once said something along the lines of "I was nursing a drink and feeling glad that I am here and not at the other side of the bar mixing the drinks....."

How very haughty and yet so true
Bartender, oh how cool!
But there comes a time when we need to grow up
We don't remain eternally young,
We age by the second, by the hour, by the months and finally years brush past us, streaking our hair with white.
Why this seemingly endless paperchase? 
Because we are enslavened by our mortality

Imagine if you had forever,
There won't be a reason to rush through your education, your marriage/lovelife, or your work
I can spend decades pefecting my scores, ensuring that i emerge to be the creme de la creme
I can spend forever just searching for the perfect match
And work? There will be infinite possibilities for time is of no issue

So what i am saying is that there is no point being a bum or a leech of the family,
Unless you have a hefty trust fund to see you through the rest of your natural life.
Because it's all very counter intuitive if you do that,
Think about it,
When old age has marked you with wrinkles and arthritic joints 

What is there to offer in the lowly company you used to keep and possibly the only one you know?
The clubs will not admit you,
The safe haven you once sought relief from is denied from you
Your stunted education would have caught up with you

Tell me, whose money will you live on now?
Your parent's retirement fund?


 

Sometimes I marvel at the rate my brain is degenerating
I wish I can just curl up in a corner and not have to think about anything
My mind drawing a total blank
I can stop pretending I am bothered with the things that go on in our world
Issues, tragedies, wars, racial and civil unrest, our environment
Give me a good fiction anytime and I'd devour it from cover to cover
But God help me, I'm such a hopeless conformist
So what you know, I must know

-------------------------------

How I wish this life is malleable,
There's no boundaries to anything, well except only your imagination
If only I could step into the books I read
Yeah, much like that Inkheart movie!
I know it sounds silly
But the escapist in me is screaming to be out of here

------------------------------
I know I've never touched on the subject of religion and I sincerely hope I don't offend anymore with what I'm going to say
So here's a disclaimer, this is not meant to be offensive or disrespectful to any religion/belief/anyone
If you think you might, don't scroll down. =)

I find myself thinking about religion alot nowadays, maybe its a phase, or maybe some divine message is trying to get to me. I don't know but it would be nice to have something to be firm about. I've no qualms cracking jokes about burning in Hell or stuff like that simply because I don't even believe there's a life after death. I can't seem to take this leap of faith. My mind tells me I need solid proof that heaven/hell exists, that Jesus died on the cross for our sins, or Buddha really sat under the tree and achieved enlightenment. Otherwise, I don't think I ever will be able to wholeheartedly embrace any form of religion.

Solid proof like what? Maybe like observing a miracle with my own two eyes, a vision, or a personal experience? I shouldn't really say that, because you should be careful of what you wish for!

I appreciate the beauty of people in prayer. The emotions and energy pouring out from them like an uncontained river, flowing freely into the core of their belief. But I'm afraid appreciating is as far as I can go.

I used to think that I believe in Jesus, and even labelled myself as a 'non-practising christian' as if there's such a thing. You'd be surprised at how convincing and creative excuses can be. I know  this is such a blasphemy, such hypocrisy. I remembered I proudly told someone that I believe in Jesus but i don't go to church. His eyes widened in surprise and said the truest thing I ever heard, "But if you say you believe in Jesus, than won't you feel compelled to know Him and go to church and build a relationship with Him?"

Bam! Bull's eye baby! I felt so taken aback that such an obvious fact has always been in front of me, and I've just been skirting around it. The fact that I've never taken a step further by cementing my belief was because I never had one to begin with. It was just a romantic notion of thinking that I shared a common belief with an ever increasing number of people. There is no such thing as being a half-arsed Christian/Buddhist/etc, it's either you do or you don't.

Sure salvation sounds good to me, but my eyebrows are raised and I'm skeptical. I view religion more fromt the philosophical standpoint than as a personal belief in something divine.  I wholeheartedly agree with Søren Kierkegaard, in his book 'Philosophical Fragments', he stated that the implication of taking a leap of faith can, depending on the context, carry positive or negative connotations, as some feel it is a virtue to be able to believe in something without evidence while others feel it is foolishness. It is a hotly contested theological and philosophical concept. For instance, the association with "blind faith" and religion is disputed by those with deistic principles that argue reason and logic, rather than revelation or tradition, should be the basis of belief in God.

Books like that hardly tells you anything but delves you in further mystery and possibility of the unknown isn't it? But it's definitely something to chew over. I'm waiting for my leap of faith. Unbeknownst to anybody or myself even, I realise I harbour some element of wavering hope.




 

So my honeybunch decided to take leave yesterday and come over to my place
He bought breakfast over
Our usual which is chow mien with chicken wings, fish fillet etc
After breakfast we just cozied around till lunchtime

Heated up some leftovers from Paulaner's and porridge for lunch
Fought over the choc ice cream, and he managed to guzzle down the entire bottle of 7-up revive
I searched high and low for the chilli infused choc to punish him
Couldn't find it anywhere, so i guess mom threw it away
It tasted pretty vile, such a shame really. Cost me $6.55 man.

We proceeded to watch 2 movies on my lappie
The first was 'Lesbian vampire killers' and the second one was 'Teeth'
The first one has its plot centered around lesbian vamps making out all the time etc, what else
The vamps were SMOKIN' HAWT
The second movie was about how this girl has razor sharp teeth inside her vagina
If the guy was a bastard, she'd literally bite their dicks off
In a way it was pretty gory, definitely not something a guy can stomach easily

Anyway to sum it up, the two movies were shitty but it was endurable
Not something that'll get through singapore's censorship board though
My honeybunch being the genius he is, definitely loved every minute of it! 

Going down to Khattar Wong this week to sign my SIP acceptance form
Can't wait for internship! 
No more travelling across the island for school! 

I imagine mornings without your messages
I imagine evenings without falling asleep on your shoulder

I think of days when I cannot text you to tell you what i'm craving to eat
I imagine having no one to carry my shopping bags, and waiting patiently at the side while i rummage through racks of clothes
And no you to squeeze my cheeks and plant kisses on my forehead
No you to tell me how greedy I am every second
And nobody I can babytalk to without grossing them out
I won't be able to pout and tell you it's either my way or the highway
I can't call you whenever i want, and demand for your unwavering attention

You indulged me too much
So much so that i cannot fanthom a life without you

All these little things hurts the most
They amplify the loneliness by a thousandfold
 

Today was spent pigging out with bf at HOTPOT CULTURE AGAIN
I was supposed to meet him at bedok and eat at the hawker centre there
When i was on the train i suddenly thought of steamboat buffet!
So i dropped off at bedok, met him and decided on a change of plans!

The previous night we agreed on cabbing to lot 1 and buying subway back to his house for lunch
Then it evolved into hawker food
And finally we settled on steamboat bufet =.=

We ate truckloads!
The table was full of food and i was so greedy i ordered for the sake of ordering!
Oyster pork and sweet and sour fish were the bomb
My highlight was my choc fondue but in the end i was soooo stuffed i could cry

We were stuffing our face when we noticed an ang moh couple quarrelling outside
The guy was freaking emo and proceeded to bury his head in the nook of his arm and sleep
The girl was bored and looked through her camera
Throughout our entire meal they were just sitting now emo-ing
Both of us agreed through mouthfuls of steaming pork, that we've never had a quarrell that lasted more than maybe 15 minutes 

Fighting just hurts each other even more deeply
Understanding is the key to resolving everything
Well unless the problem can't be resolved cus the other party intended it to be so
Just my general opinion of such issues

After we ate we cabbed back to his place
Fell asleep till 5 plus! 
Feels really good to eat alot and then sleep
Sigh 
If only he didn't have army 
Then i could really live like a queen all day! 


cable car adventure entry coming right up!